Words of wisdom

About Niyati

In her pursuit of sexual education and empowerment, Niyati N Shah has transformed the lives of countless individuals. With qualifications spanning from sex therapy and counseling to NLP practitioner training, she has influenced colleges like St. John's and M.Kumarasamy College, collaborated with corporates like Sandoz Global and Tata Motors, and partnered with NGOs like Pinkishe Foundation. Niyati's expertise radiates through her extensive media coverage and her role as a national president at the Women's \ Indian Chambers of Commerce & Industry. Through her books, workshops, and counseling sessions, Niyati continues to pave the way for a more informed and liberated society.

IF INDIA WERE TO ACHIEVE FULL LITERACY IN SEXUAL WELLNESS

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SEXUAL WELLNESS

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Congratulations on your happy marriage! Overcoming a fear of penetration is a journey, but it's definitely possible. Here are a few tips to help you along the way:

- Communication is key: Talk openly with your husband about your fears. Sharing your thoughts and desires will strengthen your connection and create a safe space for exploration.

- Take it step by step: Start with activities that bring you pleasure without penetration. Gradually work towards more intimate experiences at your own pace.

- Educate yourself: Understanding your body and arousal can help you feel more in control. Explore resources, books, or even seek guidance from a sex counselor to gain more knowledge.

Remember, patience and self-compassion are crucial. You're on a path of growth and pleasure, so enjoy the journey together!

Ah, the workload and stress duo strikes again! Don't worry, you can take steps to revitalize your sexual wellness.

- Make time for intimacy like it's a crucial business meeting. Prioritize pleasure in your calendar and let your stress take a backseat for a while.

- Find healthy ways to manage stress, whether it's through exercise, meditation, or a relaxing bubble bath. A happy mind can lead to a happier libido.

- Get creative and try new things in the bedroom. Experiment with fantasies, role-play, or even adult toys to reignite the flames of desire.

Remember, laughter is the best foreplay, so keep that stress at bay and make room for some steamy fun!

Till both of you are respecting and consenting, all is well.
It’s a cliché but very important point that most miss. Open and honest conversation with your partner about your likes, dislikes, concerns and appreciation regarding roleplay is the key. Discuss boundaries, expectations, and any discomfort you may have. It's important to be on the same page and ensure both of you are comfortable and consenting.

The classic "pleasure paradox"! Everyone has unique preferences and boundaries when it comes to sexual activities. Oral sex may simply not be your cup of tea. You have to first figure out what is your reason to not like giving oral sex to your husband, specially knowing how enjoyable it can be. If you're not loving the oral symphony, here's a simple roadmap for finding harmony.

- Are you feeling self-conscious or uncomfortable about performing oral sex due to your body image concerns or worries about your skills.

- Are there any negative past experiences or associations with oral sex?

- Is there a lack of communication?

- Are you concerned about your husband’s hygiene, taste, or smell?

Here’s what you can do?

- Talk with your husband honestly and kindly.

- Try different techniques and explore what feels good for you and your partner. It's like discovering a new flavour at an ice cream parlour – you never know what might tickle your taste buds!

- Use a dental dam if that helps. It’s recommended anyways.

Remember, pleasure is a two-way street, so find a middle ground where both partners feel satisfied. 

Don't worry, first-time jitters are totally normal! Just imagine you're on a roller coaster ride, ready to experience all the twists and turns of pleasure.

Embrace the adventure like you're climbing the Mt. Everest. It's natural to feel a bit nervous, but remember, the best views often come after a challenging climb.

If you're feeling a bit scared but still curious, here are a couple of tips to make it a more pleasurable journey. Communication is key, just like talking to your therapist. Talk openly with your partner about your concerns and fears. Relaxation is your secret weapon. Think of it like a spa day for your backdoor. Use plenty (I mean PLENTY) of lubrication, take it slow, and focus on relaxing your muscles. Relaxed breaths, a warm bath, or even some gentle massages can help set the stage for a more enjoyable experience.

Remember, it's all about finding what works for you and your partner. If at any point it becomes uncomfortable or painful, don't hesitate to hit the pause button. Trust, communication, and a sprinkle of adventure will guide you on your anal escapade!

Oh dear, the unexpected plot twist of unprotected sex! Let's dive into this with a sprinkle of wit and emotional simplicity.

Taking the "i pill" after unprotected sex can help prevent pregnancy, but it's not 100% guaranteed. Remember, not everything is as advertised - except maybe those catchy jingles! If you have concerns, consult a healthcare professional for personalized advice and don't blindly trust those persuasive commercials.

Now, don't panic just yet! It's important to be aware that the effectiveness of emergency contraception varies based on timing and individual factors. The sooner you take it after unprotected sex, the better. However, keep in mind that it's not 100% foolproof.

Moving forward, it's wise to have an open conversation with your partner about contraception. Explore options like condoms, birth control pills, or consulting a healthcare professional for guidance tailored to your needs.

The orgasm is like a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered. Here's a quick guide:

When you reach the peak of pleasure, it's like a firework display of intense sensations. Think of it as your body's way of shouting, "Eureka!" Your heart races, muscles contract, and a surge of blissful waves wash over you. It's like a roller coaster ride for your senses, leaving you breathless and wanting more. You'll know you've reached orgasm when you experience a deep sense of release and satisfaction. You’ll relax completely. It's like finding that missing puzzle piece and completing the picture of pleasure.

Remember, exploration and self-discovery are key. Don't be afraid to embark on this journey with curiosity and communication, both with yourself and your partner. Happy hunting for that sensational climax!

You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You’ve ruled out the most effective and easily available contraceptives. Withdrawing before ejaculation is not a smart thing to do. It's like a game of chance, really. Cross your fingers, say a little prayer, and hope that luck is on your side every time.

But hey, in all seriousness, it's essential to consider the risks and consequences of unprotected sex. If you're serious about preventing pregnancy, it's worth exploring reliable and effective methods with a healthcare professional.

Absolutely! It's completely normal to not feel sexually attracted to anybody or lack interest in sexual intercourse. There's a wide range of sexual orientations and preferences, including asexuality, where individuals may not experience sexual attraction. Remember, what matters most is understanding and embracing your own feelings and desires. You can still engage in sexual activity and enjoy it if you choose to. It's essential to remember that each person's experience and comfort level with sexual activity can vary. If you have any concerns or questions, it can be helpful to discuss them with a healthcare professional or a qualified sex therapist.

While there's a wide range of what's considered "normal," if it's causing distress, here are a few tips to boost your stamina.

Take it slow. Focus on foreplay, exploring other forms of pleasure, and building intimacy before diving into the main event.

Practice makes pleasure: Experiment with techniques like the stop-start or squeeze methods, which can help delay ejaculation.

Relaxation techniques, deep breathing, and mental distractions can help you stay in the moment and maintain control. Remember, it's not a race, but a delightful dance of pleasure.

If you continue to have concerns, consider reaching out to a professional.

Not everyone orgasms during penetrative sex. Most women orgasm with clitoral stimulation and men can orgasm without ejaculation. Find your spot (eg. nipples, clitoris, g-spot) and orgasm away!

Wet dreams, or nocturnal emissions, can happen as a result of increased sexual arousal and stimulation during sleep. They are a natural physiological response and can be triggered by various factors, including changes in your sexual routine or emotional state

Most of the reasons behind your guilt are influenced by societal or cultural norms, personal beliefs, or lack of accurate information. It's essential to know that these feelings are natural and not something to be ashamed of. Go ahead and explore yourself. Make sure you take care of your hygiene and don’t hurt yourself. If feelings of guilt persist or become overwhelming, consider reaching out to an adult you trust or a counsellor who can provide guidance, support, and a safe space to discuss your concerns.

There are several possible reasons for experiencing pain during sex. Here are a few common ones. Insufficient lubrication, Vaginal dryness, Inflammation or infection, Pelvic floor muscle tension or Medical conditions such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, fibroids, or pelvic organ prolapse, can cause pain during sex. It's important to consult with a healthcare professional to explore and address any underlying conditions.

If it is affecting your daily routine or you can’t do the next thing if you don’t masturbate, like you can’t sleep without masturbating, then yes you need help. Like any other habit, take baby steps to wean off. Take one day off weekly from masturbation for a month and then two days and so on. If you can’t do it on your own, consult a counsellor who can help.

When starting a new sexual relationship, it's important to prioritize your sexual health and take precautions to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). While it's natural to have concerns, being informed and proactive can help ease worries. Talk about past relations and past STIs if any.

Yes, you must test every 6 – 12 months depending on your age, sex and number of partners. People who have had oral or anal sex should talk with their healthcare provider about throat and rectal testing options.

The idea is not to mix the bodily fluids. Anything other than condoms and dental dams are varieties of rubber and plastic which is not a good option for multiple reasons. Your problem will remain. Abstinence is your next best choice.

Hey there! It's completely normal to feel satisfied with foreplay and not always proceed to sex. Everyone has different preferences and desires when it comes to sexual experiences. If you and your partner are enjoying the foreplay and it brings you satisfaction, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. The most important thing is that both you and your partner are comfortable and consent to the activities you engage in.

If you wish to proceed to sex, slow down or stop the foreplay when you are peaking. Calm down a bit and then proceed towards sex.

Remember, there's no right or wrong way to experience pleasure, as long as it's consensual and enjoyable for both of you. Keep exploring and finding what works best for your unique desires and preferences. Enjoy the journey!

When discussing the idea of buying a sex toy for your partner, it's important to approach the conversation with open-mindedness and sensitivity.

- Begin by expressing your enjoyment of your intimate moments together. For example, you can say, "I loved how it felt when we were intimate last night."
- Inquire about your partner's thoughts on using a sex toy. For instance, ask, "Have you ever thought about trying a toy?" This opens the door for a discussion on the topic.
- Let your partner know about your interest in incorporating a sex toy into your experiences. You can say, "I'd love to try using a vibrator during sex with you." Be honest and genuine about your feelings.
- Be open to compromise: Remember that it's essential to consider your partner's thoughts and feelings. Encourage them to share their opinion on the matter. You can say, "I value your input. How do you feel about trying out a specific toy?"
- If your partner agrees, make the process of selecting a sex toy a joint effort. Browse online together to explore different options and discuss what catches your interest. Alternatively, plan a fun outing to a local sex shop and enjoy the experience of choosing a toy together.